Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Growing Up

Yesterday I celebrated my baby girl's first birthday.

My husband and I planned a small party at home with a few friends and relatives. Everyone had a fun time, especially Baby Girl. Actually, to be perfectly honest, my 27-month old son probably enjoyed it the most. He was adorable, wearing a party hat, singing "Happy, Happy, Happy Birfday" to his sister, helping her blow out her candle, and assisting in opening her gifts. It was a perfect day.

But it was the craziest thing...looking at my baby (who was sitting in her highchair with cake all over her face and smiling a big, toothy grin), I felt overwhelmed for a moment. I was feelings of gratitude for being blessed with my beautiful little girl, sadness that all her grandparents weren't there for her first birthday (hubby's parents couldn't make it, and my dad passed away several years ago), and a little bit of fear - fear that time is going by too quickly.

I know it sounds ridiculous, but for a moment, I truly did feel afraid and a little sad. I don't want time to go by so quickly. These are such precious moments, and I don't want them to go away.

But then, I got hold of myself and realized a few things. I realized that I had felt that same fear before. I had felt it on my son's first birthday, too. On his birthday, I had wished that time could just stand still and I could live in that moment forever.

I now realize, though, that if that wish had come true, I would not be celebrating with my precious daughter...because she would never had been born. And I wouldn't give her up for anything in the world.

So, I guess the only thing to do is to cherish every moment that I get with my babies...because time does go by quickly, and if I waste time wishing to stay in one particular moment, then I would miss out on many more precious moments to come.


Name: Holly Bowne said...

Oh my gosh, I can totally relate to your post here! I distinctly recall suddenly bursting into tears as I watched my 9-month-old daughter playing on the kitchen floor beside me. I cried because I was certain she would grow up, move away to some foreign location, and I would never see her again. It was an absurd thought I know, but what can I say? It was stuck in my head at the time!

My kids are much older now, and you are absolutely right to try to treasure up every single day and each passing phase.

Sarah said...'s great to know that I'm not alone on this one! I really cried about it, too...but what can you do? :) I guess it's just part of being a mother.